It’s time to do some Facebook spring cleaning. Seriously, how many people on your friend list do you actually consider “friends” or could you live without? An even better question, how many people on your friend list post status updates that make you grind your teeth every time they pop up on your news feed?
Yeah, those are the ones that need to go. Follow this guide of people you need to unfriend immediately to clear up some of the obnoxious commentary that you could certainly do without on your daily (or hourly) Facebook scan.
1. The Nosey Friend
Maybe it was your boyfriend’s ex, or maybe a fellow high school classmate you didn’t really associate with, but this person only added you on Facebook to be nosey and creep on your page to make sure you’re not happier or farther along in life than he/she is. Stalkers, be gone!
2. The Friend Who Parties Every Night and Tells the World
We get it, you’re still livin’ it up, and it’s really important to let the world know how many shots you took last night and how miserable you feel this morning. Binge drinking + alcohol mixing = hangover, get it? We’re glad you’re having fun and all, but we don’t need to hear about it every day.
3. The “You Must Repost This” Friend
If we see another “if you don’t repost this, you’re going to have bad luck for seven years” post, we might consider deleting Facebook ourselves. To avoid that tragedy, remove anyone from your friend list who constantly shares this type of status. And no, you won’t suffer from eternal misery if you do so…we don’t think.
4. The Self-Pitying Friend
Poor, poor me, cries the friend who uses Facebook as a diary and self-pity as the main theme.
“Why do bad things always happen to me?”
“Wow, as if things couldn’t get any worse.”
We’re not heartless jerks, but are the dramatized statuses necessary all the time? Your life can’t be that horrible. Think about the millions of starving children in the world!
5. The Terribly Vague Friend
The vague friend and the self-pitying friend have something in common – they’re both massive attention-seekers. The only difference is that something isn’t always wrong with the vague friend (only half the time). The worst part is when you comment on the vague status to get more info or show your concern and that person NEVER replies. Hey, maybe when you unfriend them both, they can become friends and have vague, self-pitying status wars all day long!
6. The Gamer Friend
It’s that one friend who never posts anything on Facebook, yet every day you receive countless invites to play Candy Crush, Farmville, Casino Slots…you name it. Play all the games you want, just don’t try to bring us into it (we know it’s only because you need more points, anyway).
7. The Wino Friend
We enjoy wine just as much as the next person, but we don’t post pictures of ourselves every week sipping on a glass while watching “The Bachelor” or attending yet another winery tasting. It’s cool every now and then, but you’ve got to realize when your wino habits have completely taken over your Facebook (and ours).
8. The “Let Me Take a Selfie” Friend
No matter how hot you think you are, you can only post so many pictures of yourself from so many angles before it becomes exceedingly arrogant – especially when you caption it with the song lyrics “First, Let Me Take a Selfie.”
9. The Friend Who “Shares” 50 Statuses a Day
This friend has no original thoughts, but instead, shares about 50 posts every day from other pages he or she “likes.” We don’t like everything you do, okay? So stop sharing it and spamming our news feed.
10. The Friend You Wouldn’t Recognize in Person
You know that random person you met once – a friend of a friend, basically – and they added you on Facebook the next day? Hey, cool, more friends! Let’s face it though, if you came across one another again in real life, you’d have no idea who that person was. If you can’t recognize someone in person, it’s time to let them go.
11. The Political Friend
There’s always one of them whenever election time comes around – the friend who MUST make his or her political views known because it might just change your mind about who you vote for. It’s great you take voting seriously, but we all have our opinions, and we’re most likely not swapping sides because of a Facebook status.
12. The “Super Busy” Friend
How about the friend who posts about how super, crazy busy they are? Okay, if you have time to post on Facebook, you’re not that busy, and it kind of annoys those who actually are running around like chickens with their heads cut off. It’s one or the other, people.
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